snow and mittens

Christmas is here! seems strange to think "happy holidays", when we actually don't have holidays during this season at all. or snow. man, i miss snow.
anyhow, this time of the year specially reminds me of Brussels...when it was just me and my sister, our imaginations against the world! memories of snow on parked cars... of hastily packed snowballs and damp mittens... of warming our hands near the room heaters. Of those quilts...unbelievably comfy and impossible to crawl out of! of cold sunday mornings huddled in front of the TV. of mom's chicken corn soup!!! of decorating a small plastic tree and fighting about whether the streamers should go clock or anti-clockwise. of tiny presents under the tree, cotton balls of snow and colored-in paper cut-outs of holly. of holidays spent reading and diving into that wooden chest of toys. of socks full of candy and presents i never fully thanked my parents for. of steamed-up windows...tiny fingers squeakily drawing stars and watching them get fogged over again. of holding hands to cross the street and tiny boot prints on the pavement slush. of waking up in the middle of the night to just gaze at the christmas tree lights and the glow they cast.
i never did mind the cold. in fact, i love the way it makes my nose cold and my fingers blue; makes me appreciate the warmth even more. also gives me an excuse to cover up without people thinking i'm too much of a behenji ;)
now we're in the last week of the year, and i find i do not want to socialize...i think i'll leave being nice to people i don't know to next year!

Precipitation!

Rain. Such a simple word for something that feels like so much more. It rains, it pours, it drizzles, it sprinkles, it stops, and sputters into life again. It hates your umbrella. It loves the seemingly interminable time it takes to prop up that flimsy plastic barrier. It lives, it schemes, it waits and it knows when you will venture out of the shade.

Puddles form on the sidewalk, streams flow joyously into a drain. If you stare long enough, you feel like a giant looking down on a mighty river, a river you can cross with one step. You’re endlessly making a decision: to step in a puddle or to dance around it. To step in and feel the instant shiver of cold water run under your feet, or to step around and look like a hopping lunatic to those behind you. You constantly try to hold your umbrella just right so no pesky, errant raindrops make it down your back. All you see are shuffling feet; the bobbing, colored edge of your umbrella forms a veil. The wind is never on your side.

Some people feel the rain, others just get wet. But how do you feel the rain? Is it feeling how the water works its way into the ridges on your skin? Is it catching a drop on your finger, and watching it evaporate back to where it came from? Is it feeling the squelch of mud between your toes and craving for a puddle to wash it away in? Or is it how you feel IN the rain? Feel happy, calm, pensive, foolish, crabby? Feel protected inside the cocoon of your umbrella; feel relieved that the people around you are precluded from conversation or eye contact; feel envious of those you see brave enough to walk without a shade; feel wistful, knowing that you will scurry back to work, and the damp will dry, and you will be left stealing glances through the window?

You hurry to get to where you’re going. But not too much: just one more puddle, one more splash, one more cold rush.

Habits

Everyday I walk into the lab, there's this unreasonably cheerful chicken on a poster, trying to sell me on bullet points that will help me have a "happy day". Why a chicken? Are they the happiest and wisest of poultry? Do they think they know more about productivity and happiness than other farm animals simply because they wake up at dawn and have the self-awareness to question their motives to cross the road? And can I have some for dinner tonight??
I've always found inspirational posters and lists aggravating; it isn't simply not-this-crap-again annoying, but cat-claws-on-chalkboard annoying. Admittedly, this stems from my inability to turn off the "spelling and grammar check" area of my concious brain, but that merits its own post. Is anyone actually motivated by these posters? And if that's all it takes to inpire them to action, I'm just glad there's no song and dance routine involved. The recurring theme seems to be to help the reader become more "productive", which reminded me of the tiresome "7 habits of highly effective people". Highly effective pains-in-the-[anatomical region of choice] for sure. (and no, I did not read the entire thing, mostly because there were no illustrations and I'm definitely not their target audience). So, from extensive practical experience and a penchant for mining the internet for spoofs, I found:

7 habits of highly ineffective people:

1) Procrastination
The bread and butter of counter-productivity. It is no longer enough to simply avoid working. Step up your game, get creative, find joy in every little avoidance tactic, and you will soon find yourself drawing others into this delightful cycle.

2) The planning fallacy
A lack of planning on your part should translate into a monumental code red emergency for everyone else. That's the only way you'll get them to do your work for you.

3) Texting while working/walking/talking/eating
Because you should never procrastinate when it comes to texting. Like, ever.

4) Checking email too much
You never know what little gifts the universe might chuck your way. Maybe the universe has an email account.

5) Relativity in salary
No matter how much money you make, there's always someone who makes more than you but works half as much. If that isn't enough to make you want to give up working, you shouldn't be reading this list.

6) Over-optimism
"Meh i'll do it tomorrow". Repeat this in your mind every time you feel the urge to do something productive.

Put that on a poster, and lie in wait to pepper-spray the guy who writes in point number seven.

captivity

Day 1391 of captivity:
The drones continue to annoy me. The heat doesn't help. Despite the oppressive weather, my mind seems to be lost in some frozen dessert... not the sand variety, the land of sinful dairy products and cocoa concoctions.
The transient state of sanity that I refer to as my "intellect" seems to be trapped in a jello-like limbo, content in going nowhere, mesmerized by the translucent dazzle of artificial pigments, reveling in a wobbly sense of self worth.

Damn, another attack of ice-cream craving.

reboot

I forgot this was here.
Well, finally a place to house all my random nonsense about PhD life. And to crib, complain, wallow, rant and ramble.

[psst... take my advice and shuffle on over to the "next blog" option]

Monsoon magic!

The rains have arrived!

Overcast skies... the intoxicating smell of rain on earth... raindrops on your face... bunny-hopping through puddles... hot lemon tea... hotter pakodas... watching the lake fill up... wading through muck... squelching over clean floors... scramble for wash n wear... transparency tests... melancholy moods... khichhdi-ilish maach cravings... spurts of foolishness... getting caught in the rain without your umbrella.... getting caught in the rain without your umbrella and with someone cute :)... cupping rain water in your hands and pouring it down unsuspecting people`s backs... chocolate doughnuts with sprinkles on top... warm cocoa and a book to curl up with...
It`s simply magical!

mid-summer madness!

Back to blogging at last! Must be the summer sun.. and all that caffeine (a toxic combo at the best of times).
Back to rats and ruts... to foolishness and fetishes... mangoes and meaningless conversation... it`s surprising what you`ll discover when you`re wallowing in abject boredom.
Sunblock is highly over rated. Never could trump a good ol` black umbrella.
The heat can and will make you see things which have no actual existence. Humor in other people`s statements for one. The light at the end of the week tunnel has assumed a similarly mirage-like nature from henceforth. Of course i have only my ritualistic summer crashing to blame for that.
God bless the guy who invented cotton attire.
Drat. Blogging is harder than it seems.